Puffy's "Greatest Party Of All Time"

After TSG provided such distinctive coverage of P. Diddy's ostentatious 29th birthday party, we're crushed that we didn't merit an invite to the rap star's bash tonight (8/29) following the MTV Video Music Awards (perhaps Nathalie Moar, Puffy's flack and a huge TSG fan, didn't put enough postage on our envelope).

But that doesn't mean we don't have the invitation packet in our sweaty hands, Nat.

Reflecting the usual P. Diddy reserve, the soiree is dubbed "The Greatest Party of All Time," and invites have been sent to 1500 guests who'll supposedly become "a part of history" upon attending. The "party policy," which you'll find here, includes an amusing--some might call it obscene--set of guidelines re: scuffed shoes, haircuts, pedicures, and clothing (though someone needs to tell Puffy that Mr. Dolce's partner spells his surname "Gabbana").

Accompanying the invitation is a suede-covered photo album chronicling previous P. Diddy parties, from East Hampton to Saint Tropez (CLICK HERE to view the photo album).

But remember, you, like TSG, have not been invited to tonight's party, which is being co-hosted by Maverick Records boss Guy Oseary. So don't show up at Cipriani, 110 East 42nd Street. And don't even think of RSVP'ing to (212) 381-2002.